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Jul. 10th, 2009

Hugging through a sheet

A Touching Moment with a Stranger

No, the stranger and I didn't touch one another, in case you were wondering.

I take Lazarus to the dog park next to our duplex pretty often--I'd say at least 3 times a week when it's warm, and maybe 2 times a week in the winter. After it snows, we're there every day--it's his favorite time to be at the dog park, and no one is ever there so it's like this giant playground all to ourselves. He does pretty good at the dog park, and doesn't get too snippy (unless it's a boxer or a standard poodle; I don't understand the dislike of the boxers since those were his BFFs as a puppy, the poodles are asshats so I get that). He likes to run and catch a ball, frisbee, does tricks, etc., and it keeps him focused and tires him out faster.

Yesterday was a dog park day. We played for about 45 minutes until he got a little snippy with an overly friendly boxer. I had him follow me to the gate at the furthest end of the dog park, where I noticed that there was a woman and a great dane sitting in the grass under a large tree just outside of the fence of the dog park. I had seen her helping the dane walk over to the tree, and helping it lay down in the grass. She was gently petting the dane, rearranging the pretty orange scarf tied around its neck and talking quietly to it.

Lazarus--the welcoming party for all dogs and people--beelined over to them. I had just enough time to ask, "Is it friendly?" before Laz descended upon the dane lying in the grass, licking its face with his ears back and tail wagging profusely, like it was a long lost friend. The dane sniffed up at Lazarus, clearly three times the size of my dog, and allowed Laz to lick its face over and over again while mildly scrunching up its nose as if to say, "Blargh, but whatever. Nice to meet you too."

Laz then turned to the woman crouching behind her dog, greeting her in the same manner. She laughed and pet him, saying softly, "You're a nice dog, aren't you? You're a sweety." After making sure to lick me once, he lay down in the grass next to the dane, obviously spent from our playtime in the dog park.

Finally, it was our turn to speak, having gotten the dog greetings out of the way. I smiled and asked, "Why are you sitting outside of the dog park?"

She looked down at her dane and replied with a soft smile, "Well, we're doing a bucket list. This was one of them."

"What? A bucket list?? But she looks fine!" I stared increduously down at the great dane. She was a gorgeous light caramel color, a little darker than a tan. She had a young face that showed that she had many more years to go--no white grizzles on her muzzle--but I could tell she wasn't quite a puppy like my Lazarus still seemed to be. I knelt down and began to pet her, wondering what could possibly be wrong. Cancer was the only thing I could possibly think of--something from within because she was a beautiful healthy color on the outside.

It was at this point that the woman began to cry. She was still smiling, but tears were tumbling down her face faster than she could wipe them. I instantly felt contrite and horrible--I had been far too direct with a complete stranger. I apologized, saying, "Oh! I totally didn't mean to make you cry! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

She waved her hand at me and laughed, tears still pouring out of her eyes. One hand was always on her dog laying placidly in the grass, stroking gently. "Oh no, I've been crying buckets for the last few days now, probably at least four times a day. No, no, you didn't make me cry, I promise. It's her spine. She can't walk anymore."

I still felt bad. "How old is she?"

"She's three," the woman replied, looking lovingly down at her dog. Lazarus got up and began to lick the face of the great dane again, and the woman laughed. "He really is a sweet dog."

"So is yours," I immediately replied, and I meant it. I caressed her large tan head, talking to her about how sweet she was. The woman cried on, and I asked, "So there was nothing they could do for her?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Her spine can't be fixed. She can't move; can't walk. She would have a very poor quality of life, not being able to get up or move around. So we're living it up while we can, doing everything we wanted to do!"

I looked down at the sweet dog under my hand, looking into her eyes as she took in the dogs romping and playing in the dog park. She looked like she wanted to get in there and play desperately, but couldn't move to do so.

"So... you have to put her to sleep?"

This opened up a new floodgate of tears as she nodded her head, and I found myself choking back some as well. I gave her some time before I said, "Oh, poor, poor, sweet baby. And only three years old."

"The best three years of my life. She's the best dog I've ever had!" the woman stated fiercly, and I nodded, understanding her sentiment completely.

"Great danes are fantastic dogs. I grew up with them; my dad bred and trained them, and I was actually named after his favorite great dane," I responded.

She looked up at me, and the tears seemed to slow their descent. "Really? That's pretty funny! What is your name and what happened?"

"Well, my dad and mom had this blue great dane. They loved her very much, and her name was Shauna Lee Blue. She died too early from something--I don't know what--but they decided to name me after her. I'm Shauna Lynn instead of Shauna Lee, though."

The woman laughed and laughed, finding it much funnier than I thought it was, but I suppose it was laughing for the sake of laughing after crying so much for the past few days. I guess finding out someone was named after a beloved pet is probably somewhat comical too. My story seemed to cheer her up considerably.

"We came out here so she could relax in the grass and see the other dogs. I'm going to do some studying," she stated. Lazarus got up and moved towards her, licking her face again as she pet him. The great dane looked up at him and then back at the dog park, not seeming to care that Lazarus was bathing her owner with too many kisses. She spoke to him softly, loving the extra attention being lavished upon her from a dog unlike her own, and allowing him to kiss her on the face and neck, rubbing his muzzle into her face as if to comfort her.

We got up and began to walk towards her car, which she had parked right in the grass about 100 yards from where her dog currently sat under the tree. Her great dane looked at us in alarm, as if to say, "You're freaking leaving me here!?" Seeing her dog clearly wanting to come along, the woman laughed and joked, "Stay, stay! We're coming back! Not that you can get up anyhow, but stay!" This seemed to appease the great dane for a moment, and she went back to watching the dog park.

We said our goodbyes, and as I walked away from her and her dog, all I could think was that I would never see that great dane again.

It's amazing, though, the love we feel for our pets. If it weren't for Lazarus, I wouldn't know anyone in my current neighborhood. And if it weren't for Lazarus I would definitely be missing a vital part of life--loving something other than yourself, that loves you on your best and worst days, no matter what you look like and no matter how you treat it. Unconditional love is something hard to come by. I hope that woman is able to grieve and move on, knowing that her dog loved her unconditionally, and that it was a love that was definitely returned.

Mar. 26th, 2009

Lack of common sense

Creeeeper alert!!

I'm on FreeCycle, this group that promotes giving away things instead of throwing them away (there's one for most cities). I had some moving boxes left over that were taking over the garage, so I posted them on FreeCycle. I got a bite.


I came over yesterday at 5:30ish, and rang my doorbell. It was my own fault, I forgot to leave the boxes out so he was forced to come to the door. He's about mid-forties, and quite literally rings true of a crazy child molester/rapist. From the moment I open the garage door, here's how our conversation goes:

Creeper Jeff: "So YOU'RE fantasyprincess?"

Me: ::embarrassed:: "Yeah, it's from the 7th grade and I needed a yahoo account to be in the group and I'm too lazy to make up a new one."

Creeper Jeff: "Whatever. You know it's like a fetish thing."

Me: GET THE FUCK OUT WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY!?!?!?!? I need this to end faaassstttt. "Well here are the boxes..."

Creeper Jeff: ::looks at them dubiously:: "All righty..."

Me: ::pause drags for a moment or two:: "I guess I could help you carry them to your car..."

Creeper Jeff: ::smiles widely and seems to brighten up:: "Sounds good! Thanks!"

As we carry the boxes to the car, he keeps up a conversation. It only gets weirder. He won't stop staring at my face and tries to touch my hands as he helps me with putting the boxes in the car. Too much eye contact.

Creeper Jeff: "So where do you work?"

Me: "I'm a teacher out in DeSoto."

Creeper Jeff: "OH? What grade do you teach?"


Creeper Jeff: "Oh wow, I bet you're not that much older than them."

Me: "Yeah, well, I wanted to work with kids who were at least 10 years younger than me. I got tired of the high schoolers asking me to prom." ::laughs nervously::

Creeper Jeff: "I probably would have asked you too."


Creeper Jeff: "Well, these boxes will sure come in handy. We're moving down to San Antonio, if you know anyone that way."

Right, like I'm going to let him be friends with anyone I fucking know.

Me: "I've been there before! My sister did basic there for the Air Force."

Creeper Jeff: "I'm retired Air Force! What a small world!"

Actually, not a small world. There are a shit ton of people in the armed forces, you dipshit.

I end the conversation with a smile and a wave goodbye and told him I had to put my dog out. Truth be told, I was terrified the entire time that he was going to cut me up into little pieces and put me in each little box individually, like a keepsake of some sort. I was getting the craziest vibe off this man (probably from the overuse of eye contact and very sketchy body language), and strangely I think that Lazarus scared the shit out of him. I kept the front door open purposely for Laz to stare at us the entire time. He's not the friendliest looking dog.

I got an email from him today.


Thanks again for the boxes. They will help
a lot. We probably won't move until June but now we can start sorting and
packing early. It was a pleasure meeting you. I'm just glad I didn't have any
teachers as pretty and friendly as you because I wouldn't have paid attention
to my studies! J

Take care,


I might never use FreeCycle again.

Mar. 19th, 2009

In that order

Check your facts before believing blindly, folks.

THE TEXT THING ABOUT GANGS AT WALMART IS A HOAX. I got two texts today about it!

I might be super gullible, but sometimes a girl has got to check things out before getting all caught up in the drama. So PLEASE do your homework people before getting swept away by someone's stupid idea of a joke. This is a resurgence of a chain-mail email from back in 2005!

Gangs don't normally kill people as initiation! Why would they want their potential gang members to get sent to jail before they ever get into the gang? Assault, robbery, etc. is more of their forte. Watch Gangland if you don't believe me. History channel, folks.




Mar. 1st, 2009

Bitch stole my fish


So, I open up my email and see that I got a review on my story, "A Place Just For Me," which I wrote around 2-3 years ago and well before the manga was overwith.

Here's what the dumb fuckhead had to say, regarding A FUCKING FANFICTION:

"good story, but I have some corrections.
1. Kyoko knew both Kyo&Yuki, but didn't know who the hell they were
2. Kyoko was not a babysitter.
3. Kyoko met Kyo after he started living with Shishou
4. Kyo did not kill Kyoko, he just happened to be there at the scene of the
5.Kyoko never worked for Shishou or any of the Sohmas
6.Kyo didn't cut school
7.Kyo already confessed to Tohru about Kyoko's death(read books 20-21)
8.Kyo's curse already broke(don't remember if it was in book 22 or 23)
9.In the manga, Tohru has already confessed her love for Kyo(book 21)
10.Kyo does not get locked up due to the curse breaking, in fact, it may have
happened the same season, but at the least, not even a week before.
11. Tohru's dad did not have a gravestone due to that Kyoko had built a
shrine to him in her house.
12.Tohru does not blame Kyo for Kyoko's death.
13.In book 21, Tohru said the one thing sadder than her mom's death, was
seeing Kyo sad.
14.Kyo never actually wins against Kyo in a fight in the whole manga(books
15.Yuki has a girlfriend, her name is Machi. If you don't belive me, read
some of the more later Fruits Basket books.

Thereare many more corrections to be done, but I can't list them all, for I
did not read all 27 chapters of your story due to all the mishapen things in
your story. Other then that, Good story!!"

After I collected my thoughts and realized that this idiot deigned to send me something that I already fucking knew because IT WAS MY DAMNED STORY, I sat down and sent DumbFuck a message.

"I wrote "A Place Just For Me" well before the manga was through. If you had looked at the dates I had published it and completed it, you would have noticed and not wasted your time writing that pointless review. I was there up through to the end through the group FruityGroup, and never had I felt a need to go back and re-write it just so it can go along with whatever machinations the mangaka came up with. I included some spoilers up through to a certain point, but nobody wants to read spoilers when they're not ready for them - especially considering most of those spoilers weren't even known to the world of those who weren't a part of FruityGroup. I always warned when I was giving spoilers. You, giving spoilers within a review, could have potentially ruined the series for someone who has not finished--or even started it--yet. The "mishapen things" (which, by the way, you spelled misshapen wrong, and a few other words) in my story were of my own imagination because there wasn't an ending to Fruits Basket by the time I wrote that story. If you had used your imagination for a nanosecond, you might have gotten pulled into the story instead of being annoyed that it wasn't going exactly the way it was supposed to according to you.

Fanfiction is written for fun. If it was meant to read exactly like the manga - word for word, no deviation from the canon, everything happening the way it does in the manga - no one would bother reading or writing fanfiction because there would be no point. They could just go to the store and get the real thing. So lighten up, and don't try to run people's imaginations or stories based on canon."

What a stupid C-word.

Jan. 28th, 2009

Lack of common sense

25 things meme

I didn't think I was actually going to be tagged for this. Imagine my surprise!

25 Random things about me:

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I love my dog more than people should logically love their dogs. He's like my child. I sometimes show pictures of him on my phone to random strangers, like someone would do with their kid. My mother-in-law told me, "A guy at my work said it, and I'm going to repeat it for your benefit. I don't want to see pictures of your dog any more than I want to see pictures of random people's children." I counter that he's a puppy, and far more lovable. I mean, look at that faaaaace. Lazarus is also the softest medium-sized dog I've ever had.

2. Living in Kansas feels no different than living in Missouri. I sometimes forget that I'm in Kansas at all until my mother-law-comments about something that (I think) jokingly slanders Kansas City.

3. I pride myself on my ability to cook chicken. I can cook stuff on a stove--full meals of varying different things all done at the same time, perfect and hot for dinner. I get nervous when it's in the oven, and most of the time take it out far too soon. I'm not a baker. I couldn't make you good cookies or brownies if I tried and tried again (which I have). I can occasionally make good apple pie.

4. I have more books than anyone I know. I've had to get rid of some, and it was like getting rid of a part of me. When my friends borrow my books, I have to prelude it with directions on how to care for my books (I don't like the spines bent on the paperbacks, and if they're hardback then take the covers off if there is a cover). The same went with books I lent to my students.

5. I want so desperately to be a writer, but I'm terrified that I'm not good enough to be one. Writing is a real passion of mine. A true, lifelong dream would come true the moment I was published.

6. I like to pretend that I'm a fabulous singer. I've been told that I'm good (you incredibly nice people, you!), but I will never go on American Idol because I'm terrified of being told that I suck.

7. For the longest time I wanted to marry Prince William. I'm incredibly happy that I married Andrew, but it would be fucking sweeeeeeet to be a princess.

8. I repeat things I've said in conversations I've had with other people out loud, hours and sometimes days later. I also repeat the same facial expressions and inflections I had during those conversations as well. Andrew's caught me doing it a few times (I'm generally very private about it, so in 7 years together the amount of times he's caught me is pretty small), and he always makes me repeat it and laughs at me, to my huge embarrassment. I don't know why I do this, but I think it stems from my creating stories in my head and acting out what the characters would do/say.

9. My last two years of high school and all four years of college, I spent a lot of my weekend time going to underground concerts in St. Louis at the Creepy Crawl, Mississippi Nights, plus the Pitchfork Festival in Chicago. Andrew introduces me to a lot of new bands and music before they become more known. It give me a sense of being pretty freaking awesome, and Andrew just feels plain smug about it. I saw Coheed and Cambria lonnnng before they were famous, as well as other bands. To name a few: The Go! Team, The Bravery, The Postal Service, Thrice, Poison the Well, The Get Up Kids, The New Pornographers, Andrew Bird, Of Montreal, Art Brut, Andrew W.K., Death From Above 1979, Xu Xu, Head Automatica, Murder by Death, and a whole hell of a lot more.

10. I actually do enjoy being a teacher, but mostly because of the relationships I form with the other teachers and my own students. I get really nervous before each lesson, though, wondering if whether what I'm doing is going to make my students any smarter. I also could give a shit about the standards, or DOKs.

11. I like to pretend that I'm good with change, but I'm actually HORRIBLE at change.

12. I love taking photos. I would love to be a photographer. My house is currently overtaken by photos and it's about driving Andrew insane.

13. I cry when I'm angry. It annoys me that I'm crying, makes me angrier, and then I keep crying. It's a vicious cycle.

14. I have to have something I deem "breakfast food" for breakfast, or I feel sick for the rest of the day. It all stems from when I was six and got sick on Christmas day from eating too much chocolate that morning, or so I was scolded by my mom for. It was just the stomach flu, but I have to have breakfast stuff first now, always.

15. I have only dyed my hair twice, when I was sophomore in high school. It was supposed to be blond, but it turned orange. A few months after butchering its color, I dyed my hair dark brown in the hopes of re-growing out my natural hair color. I've never done highlights or anything either.

16. I hardly know my mom, or that side of the family for that matter. She lives in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.

17. My dad has always been my personal hero for a variety of reasons. My whole life I've been striving to show him that saving me that cold day in February 1997 was worth the sacrifices he's had to make down the road.

18. I was born in the Philippines. I lived in Fort Walton Beach, FL until I was 12, and then St. Charles, MO until this past June.

19. I've been known to lick, grab, and assault my friends. They put up with it lovingly. I have amazing friends.

20. If I hadn't been dating Andrew, I would have gone to Japan to teach English after graduating college. I miss Japan.

21. I love my nephews and nieces and incredibly huge amount; if something happened to my sister or Andrew's sister, I would gladly take those children in my life without a second thought. When Gabe was born, I cried. When Avery was born, Andrew was moved to tears. Logan and Addison were welcome additions. I envy those who get to spend time with them when I can't, and I am secretly very afraid that they won't know me and won't love me. I guess it's not so secret anymore.


23. I like to exercise and be outside during the warm months. In the winter I do what I'd like to call "bulking up" because I'm too lazy to work out inside and I'm sure as hell not going outside. See 22 as to why.

24. I don't like fingernail polish. I feel like it's choking the life out of my nails.

25. I don't miss high school. I hated the cliques, the drama, and the inability to be on my own if I wanted to. I do miss the time I had for my friendships back then. I miss college a lot, actually, because I could nap all the time, and making friends seemed effortless because everyone was so ready to start anew.

Dec. 28th, 2008

Ride from my mom


Yes, I am writing about more books. No, I am not a complete loser with no life. I am a loser who fits reading into her life. So nah.

I just finished, not two night ago, the Mortal Instruments trilogy (or the two books that are currently within it), City of Bones and City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare.

I bought the first book, City of Bones on Saturday. I started it on Sunday, December 21. I wasn't even midway through it when I went and bought the second book, City of Ashes from Borders on Monday, December 22.

I was absolutely enthralled in the books! I couldn't get enough of them! I literally petted the books, saying something along the lines, "Oh, please don't end so soon. Please write some more while I'm reading you..." I carried them around in my purse (which isn't too abnormal for me) and read them during the wee hours of the morning because I just couldn't fake that I was pooping that much during the holidays.

Don't act like you don't read while pooping.

Luckily, the trip down to Cape on Christmas Day lent to 3 lovely hours of my reading in a car. Andrew's dad drives slower than molasses. Plus, we had four (yes, you read that correctly) Christmases to celebrate in St. Charles, so I had to quench my lust of the series while schmoozing with loved ones. However, I ended up finishing each book in less than 2 days each, counting our precious time apart while I had to deal with the fam and friends.

Read no further if you want to know nothing of the books.

Welcome to Amazing TownCollapse )

Needless to say, I am practically frothing at the mouth to read the last book in the series, which comes out on March 24. I have read the first chapter of the book--which the author posted on her website--and have read some little snippets (or cookies, as she calls them) that the author has placed on her Myspace page. As much as I abhor going onto Myspace, I do it for the books. And my obsession with them. So far, from what I have read, Clary goes to the "home" of all Shadowhunters in an attempt to find the cure for her mother's magical coma, and comes across Jace in a passionate embrace with some chick with dark hair... and there is a new interest for Clary by the name of Sebastian. Interesting. Really. Can't they advance the book to me?

Aug. 27th, 2008

edward approves

OMG, I wrote a fanfic

So, I've been stuck in a writing rut. I have had absolutely no inclination to write in almost half a year--that's basically a record for me. I wanted to write around Christmas time and New Years, but that was because I needed to vent my stress from my job. Stress REALLY makes me want to write, because to me, writing is cathartic--it's good for me to do so, and when I don't I'm absolutely batshit crazy.

After reading as many books as I have this summer, nothing's sparked my interest in writing. Nothing, until Breaking Dawn.

Yes, a billion people hated it. In fact, a huge number of people hate the series itself. I loved it. But I digress. The reason it sparked my interest was because--spoiler alert--it was written in another perspective other than Bella's for a little while. And those few chapters were absolutely... refreshing? I'm not sure how to describe how nice it was to read something that wasn't female POV--not since Harry Potter. Most others are written in a way that I can't seem to really, truly, get into the characters. Well, I did read Fahrenheit 451 this summer, and I did find myself enthralled in Montage's life struggles, but that was after several chapters of my dallying around, not really soaking in the storyline.

Anyhow, I decided to play around with Edward Cullen. I felt that I knew him pretty well--his cadence, how he sees things as black and white, and perhaps the feelings he experienced. He is very close to how I am, actually; I see myself in Edward a lot, which is probably not a good thing.

I wrote a one-shot from Edward's perspective. I was hoping that I could have just a couple people on here read it and tell me what they thought. Have I gotten my mojo back? Is it a shoddy piece of shit that needs to be thrown in the dumpster then put on fire? Is it possible for me to write from a male's perspective?

Anyhow, if I could gain any insightful, constructive feedback, I'd totally appreciate it.


Love you all!

EDIT There are absolutely NO SPOILERS in my fanfiction, not if you've got half and idea what the storyline's about. It is written in a time BEFORE Twilight as a "what if?" piece. If you want to know the question I was asking (and then answering through the story), scroll to the bottom of the fanfiction.

Aug. 6th, 2008


I just finished Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer...

I will admit that this book caught me off guard many times over. Predictable? I think not!

First off, I loved the book! I truly do. It was a great story and it had me wrapped up for almost 12 hours of my life. I don't wish for a moment of that back.

For everyone who is criticizing the book: thank you for your opinion. I'm sorry that you didn't like it much. However, dragging this book and Stephenie Meyers through the mud will do none of us any good. Why not celebrate that we got a resolution at all!

This post has a BILLION SPOILERS for those who haven't read the book!Collapse )

Apr. 24th, 2008

Bitch stole my fish

Sad circumstances.

So... wow, this seems a bit surreal. I mean, he was only my student for a quarter, but I still said hi to him in the halls and he was always very polite and kind to me. I think he got in trouble a lot in the other classes on my team, though.

I'm pretty sure he was dealing, or at least doing, drugs; after parent-teacher conferences, me and a bunch of other teachers who were getting ice cream saw him standing around the 7-11 with a large wad of cash in his hand. He was ready to bolt when he saw us careen into the parking lot, but once he saw it was us he relaxed, thumbed his money, and then poked it into his pocket without making eye contact with any of us. When we called his name and asked him why he wasn't at school that day, he smiled timidly and shrugged.

He made a horribe, tragic decision. Now he has to live with the consequences of having killed a friend.


excerpt: "Eduardo was sitting in a chair, on the back porch of a home, when a 14-year-old boy shot him in the top of his head."

Apr. 14th, 2008

Bitch stole my fish

Wedding update!!!11!

Wedding planning is coming along verrrrrrrrry slowly. There is still so much left to do! We're finally getting the invitations out (and therefore have stopped having nightmares about no one coming!), and I still need to pay the DJ, the flowers person, get the programs printed, figure out the music for the DJ and organist, as well as meet with the ladies at the reception hall to start figuring out what my cake is going to look like--OH, and to pay them off too (but we can't do that until we know how many are coming).

I just had my bridal shower this weekend! It was GORGEOUS!! I couldn't believe how much stuff we got, and it was really funny that we got three toasters! I was actually kinda sad that Andrew couldn't be a part of the party; he was downstairs watching his niece, Avery. He would appear upstairs sometimes when Avery would sneak up and wouldn't come back down. When I did get to see him, I relaxed and felt all the tension of having the attention all on me melt from my shoulders. I was pacified by the fact that he was right downstairs. I only get to see him on weekends, and that took such a large chunk of our time together out of the weekend. Next weekend we have a Pampered Chef shower that he can be a part of, which makes me happy. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to view them, but I posted some pictures here here and here. But yeah, wedding planning is a luxury compared to doing homework; both are stressful, but wedding planning is infinitely more fun.

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